CARING AND CONNECTING AS A COMMUNICATOR (SESSION 2)
Updated: Oct 27
Introduction: Though we are going to get to content development, today’s discussion is on “delivery.” The difference between 2 pitchers. The difference between communicators, an average and an effective message is how well we are able to get people’s attention and lead them to a place where they connect with God for life change.
A. A common phrase of good communication is, “I felt you were speaking directly to me.”
Today’s focus is very simple: truly caring about the people, we speak to and having God’s heart to help them in the best way we can through a talk. Being able to step into their shoes.
“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
Eph. 4:15 tells us to speak the truth in love.
Howard Hendricks-WALT who played marbles.
The way you become a great teacher is to let the people you are going to teach, teach you what they need to hear.
“I am so affectionately longing for you. We were so pleased not just to impart to you the gospel but our very lives, for you became so dear to us.” I Thessalonians 2:7-8
B. By way of introduction-Emphasis, why this class is about so much more than a pulpit. Communication is something you do every day. Your level of communication equals the level of your relationships. Get better at this and your life will get better.
C. Great communication is about CONNECTING WITH HEARTS.
Everyone communicates, few connect. Connectors change lives. (Little boy-she thinks I’m human)
So, the first question in preaching to change lives is, “Who will I be teaching?”
Whatever a person is like, I try to find common ground with him so that he will let me tell him about Christ and let Christ save him. I do this to get the gospel to them. I Cor. 9:22b-23a
(Common ground- start with the audience-Paul with Jews, in Athens completely different, before Agrippa different)
First big point
I. IN COMMUNICATION YOU ALWAYS START WITH THE RECEIVER
A. This goes back to our “Why?” Taking the time before we speak, establishing our heart and motives.
Speak ONLY what is helpful for building others up according to THEIR needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29b
1. Can I admit that there have been many wrong reasons for speaking that I have allowed -I want to be liked, I want to be cute, cool…, Have a position, tell people off?
First clean the well if you want to the stream to be pure.
Two kinds of teachers-Those who love to teach and those who love the people they teach!
A narcissist could be a great orator but will never truly be a great communicator!
YOU WON’T BE AN EFFECTIVE GOD COMMUNICATOR IF YOUR GOAL IS TO BE AN ENTERTAINER
2. Reasons this is so important. People can tell.
a. Three questions people ask before they follow someone or really listen
Do they care?
Can they help me?
Should I trust them?
b. Getting our motive right means establishing that you are not there to speak your message but to help the people.
“Jam it in, cram it in, there is more to follow. Slam it in, ram it in, I think your head is hollow.”
c. Influence in communicating today is one thing-it is connection. It isn’t how loud or dynamic.
You are someone, who in this talk, they felt invited and wanted to pull up a chair beside you and connect about God and life.
B. Right motives position us before God to go from what we want to say, to what God wants to give and bring to those hearts.
Whoever speaks should speak as an oracle of God-Someone who is bringing God and people together by delivering something in God’s heart.
II. THAT MEANS WE HAVE TO BE MORE EAGER TO HEAR THEIR HEART THAN TO SPEAK OUR MESSAGE.
We have to know them and what is in their hearts before we should expect them to want to know and hear what is in our hearts. (Talk with Monique)
“My beloved brothers and sisters, take note of this. Everyone should be quick to listen,slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” James 1:19
A. It is only by listening that we know the right tool to use in a conversation.
Only have hammer, you’ll treat everything like a nail.
Scripture says some you might save as if pulling from a fire, but most it is appealing as a sister or brother (pastors who use this torch and burn approach- applied to discipling our kids).
B. Jesus was effective because the heart of His ministry was incarnation that meant
“Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them…” Luke 11:17a
C. Preachers struggle with preparation because they ask the wrong question.
“What should I preach on this Sunday?” The right question is “Who will I be teaching? People’s needs are key to what God wants to say. It is prayer in advance that puts the needs of the people as the foremost concern that makes it easiest to know what to preach.
“God you already know who’s going to be there? You know their needs because you’re omniscient. Help me sense those needs, articulate them, and know what you want to say to help them.”
Rick says-If you’re bleeding to death, you don’t want the doctor to give you a 15-minute teaching about the history of the stethoscope. You want him to tell you what he can do to save your life.
If your wife is listening you don’t care about the different positions of the guards at the temple, you need help.
#1Tip-Preaching Strategy- Begin with the need, hurt, or interest up front.
5 ways you can live a life without anxiety being in the way!
D. We need to be aware of the RAS Reticular Activating System.
God made our brains with filters, so that we don’t go crazy with every sound, smell, distraction. We have a filter.
If loud speaker says there is a red Nissan Frontier with the lights on, I hear it if it’s mine but ignore it if it’s not.
3 things that get our attention
1. Things that are unusual
2. Things that threaten us
3. Things we value-we sense what will give us more of something we want/need
We don’t want to depend on gimmicks or fear-based communication. We want to focus on real answers to real present needs.
We want to convince people they need Jesus not just because they’re going to die tonight but because they are going to likely live tomorrow!
PEOPLE’S NEEDS ARE THE KEY TO WHAT GOD WANTS TO SAY. (Correcting Jason story)
III. STEPS TO REALLY CONNECT WITH PEOPLE
A. Listen to them. Walk slowly through the crowd. You can’t help people if you don’t know people, if you don’t have the pulse of the congregation. This means:
1. Lots of heart conversations-asking people questions, listening for concerns, temptations, hurts, perspectives, sins, right, or wrong values.
#2 Tip-People are drawn in when they sense the preacher knows them, is aware, concern, blessed, burden about what is going on in the lives of their congregation.
Take every chance to especially try to feature and make heroes out of your people.
Glady... Leo and Mona.
Why testimonies are so powerful.
2. Ask for comments, letters, feedback, and do surveys. (Elephants in the room survey)
DON’T BE OBSESSED WITH WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY BUT ON WHAT THEY NEED! Rick’s letter from the guy who was doubting.
B. During Sermon Preparation… Time of Reflecting is key (Imagine, Think, and Pray).
Visualize the people there and online. Connect with what they are going through.
Fredrick Buechner quote:
“On any given Sunday morning a complex mix of hurts and problems sit before me listening to the message.
In the front pews the older ladies turn up their hearing aids, and a young lady slips her 6-year-old a lifesaver and a magic marker A college sophomore is home for vacation, who is there because he was dragged there, slumps forward with his chin in his hand. The vice president of a bank, who twice that week has seriously contemplated suicide, places his bulletin on the floor. A pregnant girl feels the life stir inside of her. A high-school math teacher, who for 20-years has managed to keep his same sex desire a secret for the most part even from himself, creases the order of service down the center with his thumbnail and tucks I under his knee.”
We know God has something to say personally to all of them, are we in a position to hear and communicate?
C. In every way be ready to talk not just about a subject but to talk to the people about what is going on. The sermon could even become a barrier between you and people. John Maxwell often says, “Hi my name is John, I’m your friend!”
1. Create this atmosphere in the room.
Remove things between you and the people.
Make sure you’ve walked around and rubbed shoulders.
Get out of the “preacher mode”.
Be yourself. Biblical preaching is God speaking through a personality. It is your uniqueness.
“People would rather any day to listen to someone who is always real than someone who is always right.” Craig Groeschel
Try to get interaction happening between people-there is energy in people’s interactions-we’re here to be family… let’s connect with each other’s faith… struggles
THE SUBSTANCE OF A MESSAGE COMES FROM THE SCRIPTURE, THE STRUCTURE OF A MESSAGE SHOULD COME FROM THE PEOPLE YOU ARE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH.
Effective communicators are barrier movers. *Kissing the Face of God
My goal is not to get to every point on my sermon, but to get to the point where God and people are connecting hearts and making sure that moment doesn’t pass without letting God do all He wants to do there!
2. Be authentic, vulnerable, talk about your failures and progress in a very honest way. People need to see your heart and they need to feel your emotion.
Don’t try to think of the most polished way to say it but the most personable way.
Realize that especially self-deprecating humor disarms people.
Make sure and say not just what you do right but what part of the Scripture you really struggled with. Tell both this is how I failed, but this is a small way I made progress.
Being a Christian is not about perfection but progress.
Most people first feel guilt and inadequacy when they hear what God expects so we need to untangle that for them.
The best kind of preaching,., this is what I’m learning from Jesus and how think it can help all of us.